Izzie has a new trick. She can now balance a treat on her nose. We’re giving her lots of love in preparation for lots of distraction soon. She’s loving life. I think she has no idea what’s about to come her way. Let’s not even talk about Jasper and how she’ll react.
Wait for it, Wait for it.
29 weeks - Baby Ford works late
I’m really starting to think a lot more about labor. I’ve switched from thinking about the here and now, and forward on (past the birth) to what life will be like once she’s here, to just focusing on how I (we) will get her here and what those first moments with her will be like. I ordered a book that I am to excited to receive and to start reading. I first read about the book here and when I mention it to people, they bring up the documentary by the same people called The Business of Being Born. Sounds like I should get my hands on a copy of that as well.
With less than 11 weeks left (give or take), I am also really enjoying all the movement. Some nights it looks like my tummy is doing the wave. I wonder what it feels like to not have that anymore. I guess you’re so focused on the new child in your arms, you forget that you don’t have a Mexican Jumping Bean in your tummy anymore.
Before I start writing, I just want to say, I know, I know, not the time to feel bad for myself. And that’s not what this post is about. It’s just about reminiscing and remember how wonderful our time together all these years has been and realizing that it’s changing, but it’s changing in a good way. We’ll have new exciting things to celebrate and do, and a new little person to do them with. (And cut me some slack, I’ve got some serious hormonal things going on right now!)
Last night while flipping channels alone, I caught the last hour or so of the Feast of Love on Lifetime. I should have just turned it off and gone to bed, but it’s just such a great movie (based on a great book we read in book club):
“In a re-imagined Midsummer Night’s Dream, men and women speak of and desire their ideal mates; parents seek out their lost children; adult children try to come to terms with their own parents and, in some cases, find new ones. In vignettes both comic and sexy, the owner of a coffee shop recalls the day his first wife seemed to achieve a moment of simple perfection, while she remembers the women’s softball game during which she was stricken by the beauty of the shortstop. A young couple spends hours at the coffee shop fueling the idea of their fierce love. A professor of philosophy, stopping by for a cup of coffee, makes a valiant attempt to explain what he knows to be the inexplicable workings of the human heart.”
There’s a young, hopelessly in love, couple named Chloe and Oscar. All they had was each other. It was beautiful. And it just made me think back to my life with my husband. We’ve been together for over 14 years, and are in our early 30’s now. So we’ve spent about half our lives together. It’s always just been the two of us. If we want to do something, we do it. If we want to go somewhere, we go. We lounge around on the weekends, we eat french toast for dinner. We drive hours or days to go to concerts, or festivals, to visit friends and family. We go to yoga, we take afternoon naps, we have quiet nights alone. We go out to dinner on a whim, we go for drives to nowhere. It’s just us. It’s always been just us. I’m so excited about having a child, the child that is part of both of us (the final biological link between two people, as close as anyone can be, but not related by blood). But for an hour or so last night while watching this movie, I mourned a little (and sobbed a bit) for the life we used to have. And in a way, it’s not just a baby that’s changing that – it’s been changing slowly since we met, as everything evolves. We’ve definitely toned down our lifestyle as the years have gone by, and added the responsibility of pets, jobs, a mortgage, two car payments and more school. This baby is just another layer to our relationship. I can’t wait until she’s here, and recognize that life will never be the same. It will be different, but it will be even more rich with love.
This is the last Mother’s Day of its kind for me. Next year it’s going to have a whole new meaning. I’ll BE a mother next year (I guess technically I am now). My relationship with my own mother will probably be totally different next year at this time, or will at least have grown in ways I can’t even imagine right now. I can only hope that someday I will have a relationship with my daughter like I do with my own mother. And I can only hope that she doesn’t put me through some of the things I put my mother through. But we came out strong on the other side, and that’s what matters now. I remember calling her after my first year in college, appologizing through tears at what I had put her through around the time I was in Middle School and early High School (I think that’s when it was!). These days I call her multiple times a day on weekends, and usually touch base with her at least once a day during the week. When something happens – funny, sad, surprising – she’s one of the first people I call. The running joke when I call my dad is – what, your mom wasn’t available? I babble non-stop on the phone about this and that, and sometimes I wonder if she’s making faces of boredom on the other end of the line, but I know she’s not (even if she is bored to tears). She’s my mom, and she listens – it’s what she does. I call her when I’m crying, and just hearing her makes me cry more – but she always cheers me up. Lately, I’ve been thinking even more about my parents, how much I miss them, how hard it is to live far away from them, how it’s going to be with them when my own daughter is born. I can’t wait to see the Grandparents they are going to be. I know they’re going to be great. Grandma Sue and Grandpa Ron – they already have a grandcat and a granddog, but I am so happy to be able to give them a real grandchild to dote on in less than 12 weeks.
27 Weeks / Pratt Street
Less than three months left. Yikes. Weather is warming up, not sure if it’s here to stay. I liked the warmer weather during the day, but I think it’s going to kill me at night. I’m getting pretty uncomfortable sleeping. I get up usually 2-4 time to go pee. I’ve decided I can’t breath as well on my back, so I’m a 100% side sleeper now – and I am NOT crazy about it. Side sleeping makes my back hurt, even with the gigantic pillow thing around my back and between my knees. It’s all worth it, but I feel a sticky, hot summer coming on for me.
Ryan and Chris, my heroes, painted the nursery this weekend while I hung out in Boston. We scored a crib and changing table from my boss, and a glider and ottoman from Craigslist. We’re heading to IKEA in a few weeks to scope out dressers. We’re so excited that it is coming together so nicely!
25 Weeks - View of Hartford from 11 floors up
Right now I am in my 26th week – wow! Only 14 more (maybe) Saturdays to sleep in. Only 14 more (maybe) baby free weekends. I went on a solo trip to visit my cousins in Boston this weekend, and it was great, very relaxing. Last night Ryan and I started looking at a book my dad gave me for my birthday – Lennart Nilsson’s A Child Is Born. The photos of children in the womb are breathtaking and it is so neat to see a visual of what your baby looks like at this point. However, I had to do a little Lamaze breathing when I got to the section with photos of labor. Wow. Wow. Wow. I’ve seen the Miracle of Life video before, and we’re going to be taking the birthing class, where I hear you have to watch like 8 versions of someone giving birth, but Wow. I really haven’t looked into the details at all yet. I am focused on the here and now, and what’s to come after the birth of our baby daughter, but for now I’m enjoying skipping over the whole birthing a baby part.
I love candy, sweets, sugar, chocolate, etc. My urine tests have been coming back just fine at the doctor’s office, but today I mentioned that I have been eating a lot of candy at work and he told me to cut that out. So, a co-worker made this sign for me, and put it above the snack cabinet at work. Thanks, Joe!
The good news is that it’s warming up here, and that sure makes it easier to eat the good for you foods like fruits & veggies!
24 Weeks
I know she didn’t “tag” me, and doesn’t even know me, but Leslie over at Five to Nine did ask on her blog today “Do you have ten things you’re happy about right now?” And so I am going to tell you that I DO! (I am even stealing the title of her post).
1. The Weather. Finally it’s warming up – it was in the 90’s yesterday and 80’s today. I know it’s not here to stay, but it doesn’t matter. Winter is gone, gone, gone!
2. Walking. Thanks to the warm weather, I have been walking the dog (and myself) again. We’ve made it out two out of three mornings before work so far this week, and three out of three afternoons after work. And this is good for me, because I just officially quit the gym.
3. I am also going to say Leftover Easter Candy, but I do not have any moderation.
4. Hand me down maternity clothes. I am saving a bundle thanks to my friends passing along their clothes!
5. My partner in crime – he’s really pampering me, taking care of me, doting on me, and generally letting me get away with a lot. He’s been really feeling like a partner as we make big life decisions concerning baby. He’s visited 6 day cares in one week with me, because we’re a team!
6. Reading. I’ve been so out of reading since I’ve been pregnant, but I am started to get back into it. I completed the last book club book (my choice), Serendipity by Louise Shaffer and I’ve already started the next book, Still Alice by Lisa Genova. It feels good to crawl into bed with a book again.
7. My tummy. It’s getting bigger. Now I really understand what Colleen meant when she said she was going to miss her tummy after giving birth. There’s a baby in there, and it still blows my mind. I feel her move so much now, and that’s only going to be cooler and cooler. I could sit in bed all night with my hands on my tummy, guessing what position she’s in in there. Is she awake? Or kicking in her sleep like I do? Sometimes I forget I am pregnant, or more often, I just don’t think about it. I get really busy at work, and it’s just not the first thing on my mind, but then she moves, and I remember what’s really important in life!
8. Naps. I just love naps. I am taking a lot of them now, to prep for not taking one again for about 16 years.
9. Day Care Providers. We looked at six of them last week. Even the ones that I wasn’t crazy about taught me something, and I am happy to say we’ve almost made a decision.
10. Female Fetus Ford. She’s what’s going on with us, and we love it.
I’d love to read the happy listings of:
The True Story of What Was 