In The Middle

I think the anticipation of going back to work was worse than the actual going back to work.  But I feel in the middle.  I’m not a 100% stay at home mom, and I am not a 100% working mom.  I feel guilty on my days off for leaving my co-workers hanging.  I know I cannot properly do my job at the level I’d like to while only being in the office 3 days a week.  But I am LOVING the extra time with Ms. M.  But if I was a 100% stay at home mom, I think I’d be implementing nap time, and putting her down in her crib when she falls asleep, but because my time with her is limited, she spends her snoozing time in the swing or on my lap.  I cherish those moments.  I have weekly plans on Mondays and Fridays when I am home – library group and mom & baby yoga.  I see the same moms, some stay at home, some will return to work eventually, som work part time like me right now.  They are all looking for things to do, and if I was a 100% stay at home mom, I would be too.  But, for now, this is what is working for me, although I don’t see it as a long term plan.  After the holidays, I will go back to work for 5 shorter days and I think the everyday routine of it will feel better for me.  And the weekends will be such a wonderful time for family.

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