Internal Struggle

Now that I am pumping three times a day, it allows me more sleep and my breasts are finally clog duct free and feel like I can only imagine they are supposed to feel.  However, now that I am only pumping 3 times a day, I am only getting enough milk for 5 bottles.  She eats 8+ bottles a day.  So, tonight I am going to have to take some milk out of the freezer, and it’s killing me.  I counted tonight and I have about 150 bags of milk stored – with an average of 4 ounces in each, that’s about 20 days of milk.  Margeaux is almost 8 weeks old.  So we’d be shy of the 3 month mark, especially if I quit pumping altogether. I guess the fact of the matter is, she’s going to have to go on formula at some point, so it doesn’t really matter when.  I don’t know why this is such a struggle.  I guess because I am making a decision for her based on what’s more comfortable for me.

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