It’s only Saturday night and we’ve had such a great weekend. Ryan’s brothers, dad, sister in law and two nieces came to visit. We hung out at their hotel on Thursday night after they arrived, I played hooky on Friday so we could go to the science museum, we had an adults only amazing dinner out on Friday night, and we hung with them at our house all day today. It’s always so cool to see all the girls play and it gets even cooler the older they get. The girls did absolutely amazing together.
We’re sad to see them go but glad we’ll have tomorrow to get ourselves together before M’s surgery on Tuesday. Everyone went to bed late on Thursday night, M skipped a nap Friday and we didn’t even try for a nap today – so hopefully we can do some catching up on sleep before Tuesday. I’m started to get a little nervous. I feel so sad when she’s hurt or sad and I know it’s going to be tough to see her in pain. Just today she fell and scraped up her knees and it just made me feel really nervous for how sad and confused she’s going to be Tuesday when she wakes up. I’m just really glad we’re able to have my parents at the house with S so R and I can really focus on M at the hospital.
On another note, a friend of my cousins (but my friend too!) leads a great private group on Facebook where moms ask questions to other moms. It seems to be such a great group of like minded moms (or at least the ones that speak up are like minded). For instance, one posted this below and such great comments followed!
I’m looking for the collective wisdom of this group. We’ve had so many rough days (weeks? I can’t even remember at this point) lately with 3 year old behavior. I wanted to ask what mottos/mantras/techniques you all use to get through tough days and keep optimistic that things WILL get better and that you won’t lose your cool yet again. If you tell me that I should lay down in the middle of the grocery store and do deep breathing exercises while my child melts down I will do it because I will try ANYTHING at this point! ;)
And here are some of the responses:
I try to remember what my mom always says. When they are acting their worse is when they need you the most!
My friends and I have joked about hanging up signs “This is age appropriate!” to remind us to not take our kids’ behaviors personally. We also use the phrases “good choice” and “bad choice” or “easy way” and “hard way” – “Let’s do this the easy way.” “I know you can make the good choice.” etc.
We try to do little pep talks before we go places about what they can expect (grocery shopping so we can food to eat at home, you like cereal right? well we need to get more, etc…) and what I expect from them (patience, quiet voices, staying close, etc). Now this doesn’t always work but I feel it helps set expectations so when things go wrong they understand why they are “in trouble”, etc. As far as at home I try to reason with them and then if it is uncontrollable I just walk away or send them to their room until they can come back and talk to me calmly.
My boss is an executive coach and I have embraced her mantra “Allow, Accept, Release” and find it perfect for Toddlers. I allow him to be who he is (a small child, still learning so much about the world), accept that as long as he is not hurting himself or others he should be allowed to explore and perhaps sometimes that means exploring his feelings though he doesn’t know what they are or how to control them, and release my own anxieties, frustrations, etc.