Anticipation

Hopefully the anxiety and anticipation I have about going back to work is worse than the actual going back, but somehow I doubt it.  I’m having a really hard time seeing how a morning routine is going to work.  What are the chances I am going to get in a shower every morning?  Does my husband realize how much more my going back to work is going to put on his plate?  Will my dog become clinically depressed now that I am not there to follow around all day? How in the world am I going to interact with mutliple adults for 9 hours a day? In a row?  How is Margeaux going to do at daycare for 10 hours a day, even if it is only 2 days a week?  And stop telling me it’s only 2 days a week, because in a matter of weeks it’s going to be 4 or 5 days a week!  (Although I know I am SO LUCKY to only be going back 3 days a week until the end of the year.)  How will I have enough energy for work and still have some left over for my girl?  And my goodness, after I’ve used up my energy on my co-workers, my daughter, getting ready for the next day, how does that leave anytime for my husband? And for myself!?!?  I’m sorry bookclub, I may never read again.  I know I’ll figure it all out, I know I’ll fall into a routine.  I’ll get faster at making bottles, packing lunches, I won’t care if I haven’t taken a shower, but it’s still hard to imagine what life is going to be like with one more thing on my plate, and it’s a big thing. I’ve done a lot to prepare myself and my little family. I’ve made and frozen a bunch of food.  We have a checklist for everything we need to do at night for the next day.  I’m going to pick out clothes for the week, and just PUT THAT ON in the morning, no fooling around with what to wear!  I have enough non-pershable food packed to feed myself for 2 weeks.  We’ll survive. But I just hope I’ll remember to enjoy life in the process, and to enjoy every little moment with my little girl.  Oh, and to not be a mega-bitch to my co-workers, I’d like to remember that too.  4:01am, 2nd feeding of the night over, goodnight.

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2 Responses to Anticipation

  1. Amy says:

    Jenn, I’ve been thinking about you the last few days, as you get ready to go back to work. I think you’ve done everything you can to prepare, and make it easier on yourself and Ryan. At this point, it is what it is, and you WILL figure it all out. Just remember to go easy on yourself and recognize you are one person, not an army of mommies. I love you! xo

  2. Pingback: The End of Maternity Leave | The True Story of What Was

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