There’s this thing going around Facebook now. You’re supposed to post a note with 25 random things about yourself. I filled them out on Facebook, but couldn’t bring myself to post it. It just felt too open. I have too many professional contacts on Facebook. I know that technically this is more open, but I have a feeling less people would see it here (even though there’s a link on my Facebook profile to this blog). So here it goes . . .
1. I sometimes feel like I have an anxiety issue, although I don’t think I’ve ever had a full blown anxiety attack. My freak outs are usually emotional with little physical complications. See #2.
2. I have an obsession with picking up the house. Not cleaning, just putting things in their places. I am not sure if this is my Montessori upbringing, or just a case of undiagnosed OCD. When I get home, I have to put all of my stuff away. The dishes have to be clean before I go to bed. But I’ll leave the cat box a literal sh*thole. Putting things in their place might be my equivalent of an eating disorder. It’s easy for me to control.
3. I wish the same thing every time I wish something – when I see a shooting star, when it’s 11:11pm, when I blow out candles. I’ve been wishing the same thing for almost 13 years now. If I die still wishing it, then it will have come true.
4. I stopped biting my fingernails several years ago, I can’t remember exactly when. But I usually have at least one fingernail that I let myself bite when I need to.
5. I miss my parents so much, but have no desire to move back to Florida unless I win the lottery and never have to dress up for work in such a hot place.
6. I can’t imagine having children without my mother close by.
7. I sometimes fear that motherhood and working will be too exhausting for me. Sometimes I feel like life is too exhausting for me. (I am NOT pregnant)
8. Since the New Year:
– I have flossed every night.
– I haven’t even had a sip of soda and it’s been so hard.
– I have not microwaved anything, except at work.
9. I can really relate to Dane Cook’s “crying” stand up routine.
10. My dad and some of my other relatives call my Jeffiner. But no one else is allowed to. Ever.
11. I think I still see myself as the skinny girl from high school, even though I know so well that I am not.
12. It really scares me when I can’t remember things. My husband sometimes says, remember that time when . . . and I have no idea what he’s talking about. In my defense, I have over 13 years of memories with him.
13. I don’t know how people can go on living after the death of someone close. Sometimes I picture what my life would be like if I lost my husband, but I just see myself curled up in a ball in my bed. I have never lost anyone who I saw on a daily, weekly or even monthly basis.
14. All my life I have pictured the worst, because I feel like if I expect it to happen, it never will.
15. Someday I’ll send my secret to Post Secret. It’s not that bad, but I think it would hurt someone I love to know I butted in. I haven’t sent it yet, because I don’t feel like I can come up with a creative enough way to display it. Also, I’m chicken.
16. I get kidney stones. They suck. But I haven’t had them in a while. One time I had to strain my pee for weeks in hopes of catching a stone.
17. I never wear makeup. I don’t even own any.
18. I am jealous of people who have their whole families close, but I haven’t made an effort to move closer to mine yet.
19. I feel really bad that I don’t give Jasper as much attention now that we have Izzie.
20. When I don’t like a present or know I won’t use it, I return it immediately or give it to Goodwill. That’s one big advantage to living far away from family.
21. I miss the days when I didn’t have to wear a bra.
22. I hate being a grownup. I wish someone else would take care of my grown up stuff and I could just live like every day is Saturday.
23. I consider myself a nice person, and I get so upset if I realize I’ve made someone else feel bad. I also get really upset thinking back on some of the things I did as a kid to make others feel bad.
24. I speak to my mother on the phone almost every day on my way home from work.
25. I still can’t believe I’m married. I wanted to be married for so long. Now I realize, I pretty much already was. (Our 1 year Anniversary is in less than 2 weeks)
Wow. This is so brutally and beautifully honest, You are so brave to have posted it but I feel so much closer to you because of it.