I am not calling New Year’s Resolution #1 a failure yet, although it’s been tough going. I think the key is developing a new vocabulary replace my old choice words:
“Gosh Darnit all to Heck!”
“I can’t believe these freakin’ idiots!”
“Learn how to drive you stupid witch!”
Ok, so maybe that’s not the key. Maybe I need to deal with the underlying root anger and rage I feel towards people who can’t do their jobs correctly or even drive correctly.
In the meantime, at work, I’ve taken to squeezing this adorable little teddy bear that my dad got me for Christmas when I feel the need to curse.
Not sure what I am going to do today though, since my bear is currently on loan to one of my favorite vendors. She promises to return it soon.
Oh, and I just checked out the website a little more closely. It mentions the bears are buy one get one free. I have to wonder if my bear was the free one. And if not, who got the other bear from my dad?
The True Story of What Was 
Also try these:
shut the f*** up = shut the front door
jesus christ = cheese and rice
cute bear. There is always the good ol’ sugar instead of sh*t.
unfortunately they weren’t buy one get one free when I bought on. I suspect it’s an after-holiday clearance thing. Guess I should start celebrating the holidays in mid-Jan. It would be cheaper.
I also like:
“What the French, Toast?!”